C You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++ You accident-ly create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying "That's me, over there."
FORTRAN You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling facility.
Modula-2 After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
COBOL USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
LISP You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...
BASIC Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
Forth Foot yourself in the shoot.
APL You shoot yourself in the foot; then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.
Pascal The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
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